Manín, below you’ll find a revised version of an article I published in the Huffington Post a couple of years ago. The information is, for the most part, the same, but I’ve made some changes and I must say that it’s been very interesting to see how my ideas and fears have evolved. I hope my thoughts bring value to your life.
The tendency that we have to avoid fearful experiences -that we suppose will cause us pain- is normal. We all want to be happy, but this doesn’t mean that we'll succeed at every attempt to move away from situations that evoke our fears. Wanting to be happy motivates us; fear also does and it isn’t an emotion we should circumvent or invalidate.
Many of my goals come from the genuine desire to be happy and to feel that I am becoming a better person. That is one side of the coin. The other side, the one I am learning to embrace, inspires me to establish goals that come from a place of fear: the fear of what might happen if a goal is not achieved. I'm convinced that, subconsciously, this fear of what might happen is translated into a thought process similar to this one: if X doesn’t happen in my life, then due to Y consequence, I will feel hurt. The reasoning remains the same regardless of what the goal is and what the probable consequences are. I am afraid of being vulnerable and feeling hurt because if I am not as resilient as I think I am, what will happen to me if I can't get back on my feet?
I am accepting the fact that, even if I feel hurt and broken beyond repair, it is just an idea inside my head. Not all ideas are correct. Nothing can break me unless I give it permission to do so.
If I acknowledge my fears, observe them, respond proactively and don’t beat myself up because of their existence, they will teach me about myself and I will be better-equipped to deal with fearful experiences in the future. Fear is a stepping stone that helps us change limiting beliefs into self-empowerment. We need challenging events to mature emotionally and grow spiritually. Fear reminds us where the boundaries of our comfort zones are. Facing our fears forces us to push those boundaries and to look inside ourselves to recognize our inner resources. How we react to challenging events is what makes or breaks us.
I know that many of us allow or have allowed fear to mark our souls and determine our future. Instead of allowing it to justify our not growing, it should serve the purpose of helping us embrace vulnerability as a valuable tool for resilience, courage and happiness.
PS. Manín, writing is my passion and I enjoy exploring the craft through different mediums of expression. I will appreciate it and thank you forever if you help me spread the word and share my art with the world:
You already know that I love to write. You can read some of my poetry and fiction here and please, let me know if my poems or stories strike a chord within you.
I also love music and you can check out mine in all digital platforms. I have another musical project that I can only describe as short, philosophical dembow songs and you can listen to them here. What do you think of all the songs, the lyrics? I want to know your thoughts.
“Desvelo, silencios y recuerdos” is my first child-poetry book. Read the excerpt, buy the book or share the cover. Whatever you end up doing, I’ll thank you for it.
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Thank you, manín!